That Very Difficult Friend

You know she will be arriving but not exactly when. You count the days and when there's no hint of her arrival, you get a bit anxious and even stressed. To be on the safe side, you would even prepare the ground. When she's fashionably late like a Hollywood diva, your anxiety turns into pain...great physical pain!

And if you suffer from chronic endometriosis like me, you would know the agonies and sufferings that her arrival brings. Yes, it's THAT friend, that very difficult friend, called Period, aka Menses.

In my case, she also likes to be rather fickle with her date of arrival, much like the unreliable flight schedules of some budget airlines. You arrive at the airport, all ready for departure, and what greets you is the signboard that says "Flight Delayed".

Yet, she is the one friend who marks your womanhood so indelibly, whose advent also qualifies you for motherhood. 

For the first seven or eight years of my marriage, I tried hard to understand her schedules, in numerous attempts to conceive. Then, each of her arrivals came with disappointments, frustrations and even exasperations.

Fast forward some years, after 14 years of marriage, husband and I are comfortably settled down in our childless status. Though we sometimes think it would be nice to have children, the thought also strikes fear into us. 

Just imagine, mugging with my children for PSLE in my fifties, doing 'O' Levels with them in sixties, and by the time they graduate from the university, I would have enough grey hair to be mistaken as the grandmother!

That much said, back to that difficult friend. These days, her delay brings anxiety, and further delay brings great fear, yes, fear of pregnancy!

Right now, she arrives,19 days late! One more day and I would have bought that clearblue again!

As a long-term sufferer of chronic endometriosis, I've built up an arsenal to combat against the pains and agonies. Having gone through at least 3 surgical procedures to treat the endometriosis over the last 14 years, I don't want scopes and tubes poking inside me again. So, I try hard to alleviate the pains by using the following:

1. Oil of Evening Primrose (good for PMS)
2. Ginger Tea, (good to put in a thermos flask, and take along when you go to work)
3. Brandy (warms up the tummy, and perhaps the alcohol makes you forget the pain too!)
4. Red Dates Tea (drinking some in between periods helps to alleviate the cramps when the period starts)
5. Cinnamon Tea (yes, it's now my spice of the month, helps relieve cramps)
6. Traditional Chinese Medicine (see the physician for the personally prescribed medicine)
7. Prescription Painkillers (In my case, it's Ponstan aka mefenamic acid)

For many years, I relied on prescription painkillers every time the period comes, just so that I could get out of bed and stop rolling in pain for the first two days. Usually, I would have to take time off from work for at least a day. 

Nowadays, I try anything and everything from no. 1 to no. 6. Whenever I make it through a period without no. 7, I consider it a personal victory! :)

My dear difficult friend, I do treasure you as a symbol of my womanhood, I just wish that your visits can be less painful and less stressful.  

Note: Cutting back on coffee for the first few days of the period also makes a significant improvement for me. Seems like caffeine causes the cramps to hurt more.